How much is too much? There is a phrase which we often come across that too much of a thing is too much for your being. I ask how much? And for how long we have to confine ourself to these undefined terms? Who made this? We? You? Them? Why? How? In whatever thing we do it has always been said that there is a limitation to everything but no one really knows what limit is the last limit and where one should stop and thus is my topic today how much is too much? The main topic i want to highlight here is hidden behind this title, keep reading to find out.
If we look closely there is a proper category of limitations based on various grounds like gender being on top and other discriminatory scales such as status, profile, caste, race etc. We have number and numbers of limitations based on gender scale I will mention few of them below but before that I want to know how after humans evolving so much and beyond from where to where like it has been millions of years homo sapiens have transformed themselves in such a way which they would have never ever imagined in the beginning. Today we have come so far in every sector every factor of life but how come somewhere we are still there in this category. How come we failed to recover ourselves from these stereotypes and beliefs or are these lately discovered ? Why our morals didn’t transformed like the way our way of living did? I’m not here to blame the system but I have some probable queries regarding that. Gender issues being on top let’s talk about gender inequalities first it’s not that women conditions have not changed, it definitely has changed alot but there are still few left for women to deal with & it still seems a long way to go. Along with this there is a new thing in talks that is about men. Now along with women somewhere men are also asking for their rights. It’s new because earlier men were hard to compete with even if they were wrong on so many levels but today the scene is no longer the same so I’ll also count the problems which men are facing these days very conveniently. Some I have heard some I have seen and some I have read. Now let’s go by different situations and ask ourselves whether it is arguable or not.
At home : There is this most common and the most discussed one ‘what will people say?’ . This phrase carries such enormous pressure on people like no other thing in this world. It happens regardless of what gender you are though for girls things multiplies in a whole separate way. This is so haunting like before you do anything in life firstly you have to check whether and to how extent it belong to this phrase. It will not be wrong to say that this phrase has killed more dreams than anything else in the world. Always remember “people will always say things no matter what” so don’t lose your dreams for the sake of what they will say. Consider these people as non-existent if they try to come in between you and your dreams. It’s human nature to talk & they will talk no matter what and not to deny we all do that.
At workplace : So we know that disciplines and principles of a particular workplace is made for everyone and is equal for all of them including the employees, employers, male, female, higher rank, lower rank etc. but behind these principles there are many unsaid and unregulated limitations decided for women and if you cross that there is a judgement scale using which you’ll be judged on various categories. For example If a female has more male colleague friends than females she will be considered as easily approachable and highly character judged but we never see a male going through the same process in same situations. He will be called as a very helpful, kind and a gentleman that women feel comfortable with. But in the same situation there is a whole different scene in a female case.
Marriage : This one is the most celebrated discrimination which happens openly in families. The girl in a marriage have to go through countless contest where you will be given points by the other family in various categories in which looks comes at the first, second would be character , a proper character certificate will be given to you that how well you qualified into that and then only the marriage happens. The way you talk the way you walk the way you look the way you eat even the way you laugh will be judged. But the question is who’s gonna talk about the boy how is nobody asking for his certificate. If we talk about equality , various laws are there on gender equality but where is the equality in this case then?
Travelling : “You are travelling alone ?” This very supreme question I am sure all the solo female traveller has come across at some point of time in their life. My point is why this question is still being asked by us, are we not yet transformed enough to digest this or this patriarchal society we are in doesn’t allow us to transform. Why a women life is supposed to be confined behind the dome of a father or husband? Let’s try to see this in a second possible reason, why our well wishers doesn’t allow us to travel alone what are they scared of is this due to their patriarchal thoughts or this system has failed to give security to womens globally? Do give a thought on the latter one.
At educational institutions : Here not only girls but boys also have to go through several radars set by self proclaimed jury in the form of classmates, college mates. I myself have faced some of these situations mentioned below. If we talk about girls they get almost the same treatment as at workplace like if you have more male friends you’ll be given character certificate and will be called names by your own classmates. Sometimes even the boys you’re friend with will not spare you behind your back. Here you will see different categories set for both male and females. If you belong to a very calm and composed nature you will hardly be called by people in the start. And in all of that if you are encountered with a certain group of students they will always look down upon you. They will try to bully you, humiliate you, corner you, will do gossips about you regardless of what gender you belong. In case of boys, if someone is quiet and not flaunting, not showing off enough as others they also face humiliation by both girls and boys. Isn’t it too much? But who knows how much is too much?
All these above are the most basic ones we all go through in our life at one point or other. That’s why the question arises how much is too much? We all are suggested on regular intervals that too much of a thing is not good, I ask them again how much is too much?[Image: Canva]